Posted in Humor, Memories

Chapter 42: Quote Book

When I was in college, the campus newspaper office had a beloved tradition that involved transcribing funny comments people made in the newsroom and pasting them into a battered old photo album we referred to as the Quote Book.

I brought that tradition to several subsequent newsrooms. I now keep an electronic quote book on my school computer and add to it now and then. Most of my favorite quotes fall under the category of Things I Never Expected to Have to Say in a Classroom. Among those gems:

“Stop eating staples.”

“Do not attempt to milk each other.”

“Damon, quit panhandling.”

“Matthew, quit leg-pressing Preston.”

“Stop making Barbie behave like Chucky.”

If you’ve taught very long, none of those directives is likely to surprise you. If you’re a bright-eyed college senior graduating from a teacher-ed program: Welcome to the profession. You’ve just spent four years learning classroom-management skills and pedagogical strategies so you can spend the rest of your life telling seventh-graders not to eat office supplies.

Totally worth it. I highly advise starting your own quote book so you can look at it on bad days and remember why you thought this was a good idea.